My song-alarm went off and I woke in the middle of the chorus… you’re faithful to the end, faithful to my heart…

Even in my waking brain, I still was overwhelmed.

He’s been with me, throughout it all… he’s guided me and protected me… and somehow I find myself at the end of this amazing time. In pouring myself out of my little personal bottle, I was able to see what I actually am. Teachers are often taught more by their students. It wasn’t just the kids, it was the whole experience. Giving my time and effort to a purpose that I had no control over. We never know if we’re planting, sowing, or reaping… all we’re called to do is obey.

There’s times where I wish I could have listened and obeyed more. I know it’s only by God’s grace that I hear the testimonies from the kids and their parents. The biggest mistake I can make at the end of this is think that it was all me. Ha. That’s pretty funny. We need more people in general to give the glory to God, so we can all love him so much more. Because it really is all him. And the wonderful daddy he is, he’s complementing on all my little efforts… and the bad is fading away. All my regrets fly away, and it’s the good that stands. Oh, how faithfully unfair he is. Don’t we deserve so much punishment? No. We’re just children with an extremely loving father. Oh, I love him.

I’d say that the biggest lie that the devil tries to use is that we won’t ever receive back all that time we give. But God sees it, he multiplies our little effort, and ALWAYS gives it back to us. We live in seasons. Yet we’re taught to think so short term! God is looking years into the future. He’s using our little seeds and preparing a massive harvest, but not on our timing. He sees our faithfulness and will reward us. What will you have left for the next generation?

I’m opening up a new chapter in my life.

This summer stifled my normal breathing. Even though summer is so-called “freedom”, I was suppressed and the things I normally relied on had disappeared. My plans had gone out the window, and I was left at home. Who was left to hold on to in my relational darkness? I feel like I’ve had wisdom and love just dumped on my head. Isn’t it through hard times that you pull closer to your friends? You look back, see how far you’ve come, and love the other even more. Yep, that’s how I feel. And it stirs my love for Jesus.

Oh, was it hard, but I feel like I’m bursting out into to clear sunshine, and I will be renewed and restored once again. I cannot comprehend all that God has for me. Who can calculate it? What I know is that he is writing a beautiful story and I am the main character. It is only beautiful because of him, and he makes me what I am. I await with expectancy for the fullness of his glory.

Those of you have read my blog for the past few weeks, thank you. Thank you for taking the time to read my debriefs and I hope somehow you are inspired to love Jesus more. Because that’s all I’ve been really shown, love. And testimonies of his love from others always inspire me to love more. So if anything, love. But you already have by reading this, so thanks. 🙂