So last night I closed my laptop instead of leaving it open for the alarm, so I awoke half an hour after my set time.
But I when I saw the time there was no dread. As I was advised last night, give yourself grace not to be perfect.
“What do you want to say to me, God?”
“I love you.”
He didn’t shout, YOU’RE LATE, he just said softly “I love you”. So instead of stressing, I had the phrase, quick and productive, as my theme for the morning. I walked down to the classroom just in time to talk to someone about the sheep that were just moved to the wilderness by the dirt road. Yes, our YWAM base has sheep.
God uses references to shepherds and sheep so much I think we should start learning more about them.
There were about a dozen of them, all pressed up against the gate. The bushes, long grass, and keawe trees looked green yet foreboding.
“They just moved them here last night from their original pen. They don’t like exploring into the unknown, but soon enough they’ll eat their way through. For now it’s dark and scary to them, even though it’s perfectly safe.”
I was then shown a lamb and its mother.
“This momma here has a growth on her jaw here and we don’t know if it’s hurting her or not. Sheep are such weak and flighty animals, they don’t like to show pain. They don’t want to look weaker than they already are, so it’s difficult to treat them.”
Aren’t we just like sheep? Naturally proud and cannot show weakness even to the ones we love?
Their shepherd calls to them and they come to her.
She knows each one of them by name even though they look so similar.
And God is our shepherd?
Today we made little cotton ball sheep with googley eyes and q-tip legs. In the preschool office we had found a little sheep pen so they looked adorable all grouped up in there. So how was today? Great. No major tantrums (though one boy lost his telescope and that was a tragic affair) and the soccer field was a winner. We didn’t have anything but a stray rope and nine boys’ limitless energy (the two girls were pretty hyper, too). Even though walking up the hill to see the sheep seemed to tire them out, put kids on a large grassy field, and somehow they squeeze out every last drop of strength.
Reflections on teaching…
So at the beginning of the week I had doubts at my whole calling and all. Teaching is hard. It’s a responsibility that directly effects others. Why don’t I just become a writer and go to university and get a degree in Literature or something? I love reading and writing. Do I hate teaching? Not at all. I just get a little stressed by preschool age, primary school age is better. I’m learning to love in a whole new way. Giving myself up for others. That’s what Jesus did, right? And we’re supposed to be like Jesus.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
James 1:2-5
