Tuesday: Nannying. Oh, she is so happy and content, despite a fever raging earlier. She smiles and hugs and gives kisses. Or should I say “boh-bohs”, in Korean, so sweetly. My heart melts. But I see the effects of sickness– not eating snack, then falling asleep on my lap as we listened to Andrea Marie Carr songs.

And bit by bit, I’m seeing God’s love through her eyes. His love. The sweet, the tender, the caring, the selfless. And even me– oh I’m the one learning how to be loved. I don’t expect her smiles and laughter just because of my presence. I don’t expect her to depend on me enough to fall asleep on my lap. I… I just don’t expect it. Here I am, daily wondering if I’m too selfish, and she’s just loving. No thought to my inner motives, no thought to that I’m getting paid. She sees my love and how I give her attention when she asks. Like how she put my bookmark in my book so I could help her put on her doll’s shoe.
Those simple, daily, small communications we have.
Oh, that I would be like a little child once more.
And as I laid her down to sleep in her bed… the lyrics sweetly rang in my head…
It’s your love that carries us through.

photo credit: my lovely mother.