Has the Holy Spirit ever asked you a question that shook you to the core of your being? Or, in my case, asked me a question, let me answer… then told me a-slap-in-the-pride statement. However, I secretly knew it to be true.

“You have been loving Me for the things I do for you.”

Don’t get me wrong, that has created a very personal intimacy and relationship. Yet the foundational core, LOVE… the question, “Kayla, do you love me?” took a whole new turn today.

Do you love ME? The emphasis had shifted. Do I love Jesus more than just the man who shows me amazing things that connects to what I’m learning… the one who constantly provides for me… the one who is patient and faithful with me… instead, do I love Him for who He is, for who He is with other people? 

Jesus is the one who has resurrection power to heal a sick Fresian calf that I fed at a farm over the weekend. He’s the one who reveals to one friend some incredible lessons about surrender over her holidays. He’s the one who gave joy to another friend when she gave her life to Him for the first time. He’s the one that holds them close in the pain. He’s the one that brings transformation to strangers I have never met and will never meet. He’s the man who talked to an outcast woman who was despised, a commander who had authority over Roman legions, and a religious leader all hungry for the truth… and He loved them all, and changed their lives.

Would I love Him, that Jesus, despite personal contact with Him? Would I admire Him from afar, even if He was someone I could never have for my own? Or am I just sustaining love because, wow, I see how just I am better together with Him?

Yeah that was me. Going through this stage where I kept going with quiet times every morning because of our relationship, rather than for simply who. He. is. Yet take a look at this: “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.” (Phil 3:8). Do I count everything as loss just because knowing HIM is worth it? Highly doubt it. But… I think just now, I may be well on my way to admiring Him for who He is. Getting to know Him and loving for who He is, not just because I am flattered by His love and compassion. (Not that being melted by His love is bad, if you haven’t, please go after that now!). 

But in feeling Christ’s love for me… I want to be able to love Him– not just His deeds done for me personally, but for His character for all people. Because He is a God who came for all people, not just me. And when Jesus asked Peter, “Do you love me?” He did not just leave it at that. He said, “Feed my lambs.” After feeding a desperate little lamb in the green New Zealand countryside, that sure gives a visual picture. There are teenagers who need my mentorship. And little munchkins in a Year 2 classroom that I’m going to observe tomorrow. Love. 

He’s a man who cares about the little things. 

Oh, that I would count all as loss for the sake of knowing Him more.