“You know me.”
If I’ve learned anything this year,
that would be it.
Perched on a regal red theatre chair
Waiting for the play to start
Though not just a play, a musical.
Though not just a play or a musical,
But a promise.
A promise from God, that I would go to a showing of the musical Mary Poppins in Auckland. At first I hoped, then when the natural took over, I forgot I’d ever hoped. Only to be reminded again– on my birthday weekend– of His promise. It seemed a silly promise from surface. But nothing that Daddy does to bless His children can be pointless. He loves us.
He loves me. So much that He would give me something that I never thought I wanted. An outing, a ticket to a big event, a night special, to be awed upon. However, I thought that would be Coldplay or Taylor Swift or any other of the amazingly awesome bands and performances that have come through New Zealand this year. My friends gathered their tickets to Coldplay early on and I realized I actually didn’t want to go. I wanted to on the outside. But deep down, I knew God had something better for me.
What could be better than an epic Coldplay concert, you may ask?
I’m not talking about general opinion about what was better or what was not. I’m saying… God had something better for me. Do you see the difference? How one thing could be so epic and awestrikingly beautiful for one person- and even for myself– yet there was another thing waiting on the shelf, waiting for me to give up my jealousy and pride and OPEN it. Months later, we did.
Tonight I looked out from seat 55 (my favourite numbers), taking in the simple splendour of a musical set in 19th century England about a nanny and her children and their family. I could not stop smiling, giddy with glee. However much I had tried before to persuade myself that huge concerts were more impressive… and I would have enjoyed something else more than a musical of all things… Jesus knew me.
He knew that I would absolutely flat-out enjoy watching Mary Poppins more than anything else and that I would cry at least five times in the most sentimental scenes thinking of when I was a nanny as well as a teacher and He knows that tap-dancing chimney-sweeps are SO awesome and wow that my face would be beaming for a majority of the evening. He knew I wouldn’t get spiritually exhausted nor emotionally overwhelmed by too many people (and no, me crying in sweet moments does not count as me being emotionally compromised!), and instead be refreshed by His love and truth in an old story. He knew me.
He knows me. It’s not that He “knows the future” but that He knows me in a relationship. He understands my character, personality, and quirks individually, specifically, separately from the crowd and therefore knows what will actually make me happy. He knows you apart from the crowd, too. It’s because He is our Father, our Beloved. He’s not out to hurt you. I often thought I had to give up so much all the time. We have different stages of progression in relationship, but this is one of them: that we know He loves us. Even if it means that our frugal selves get rattled a bit in the process of Him revealing His affection and blessing my stockings off. (And yes, I wore white stockings with my 1960’s style dress. But that was hyperbole of an expression, don’t worry, no stockings went anywhere).
Oh, I’m falling asleep.
But heehee, here’s another testament to God’s faithfulness:
There’s a snuggly cat curled up at my feet, waiting for me to go to turn off the lamp, too. Why is that His faithfulness? Simply, I like cats. And you know what? Jesus knows that, too. And I have a feeling Jesus likes to bless us more than we know. We just need to let Him a little more often. As Mary Poppins sang tonight, “Anything can happen//If only you let it”. His character is steadfast love and faithfulness, and keeps His promises forever. Woah. I’d like to get to know Him more. So let’s do this together: love– more specifically, more openly, and more faithfully.
“Great is your faithfulness.”
–Lamentations 3:23
Amen.
