I have nothing left to give.

I really don’t feel like writing. 

Or, as I am advised by the Holy Spirit, to write from my heart. 

What’s in there? A muddle of grassy green countryside and yellow Fiat cars and royal blue interiors of buses. A jumble of Mary Poppins tunes and For King and Country songs and New Zealand’s Got Talent performances. A hope. A dream. A promise. That there is more to life than this. 

These days have been so amazing that I can barely hold on to them. Life is slipping away. Time is flying by swiftly like the black and white cows in their pens disappearing behind me today on the bus from Auckland to Hamilton, from Hamilton to Tauranga. What beauty I have seen. What more to come. There’s so much to take in, so much to learn, so much to see, so much to love. Good thing we have eternity.

And tired after over three hours traveling back home, we were climbing up the Kaimais (in the bus) and I just didn’t know how to process it. He will love me forever. Whether the swiftness of the times got me (I am done with one year of university and fly to Hawaii in a week), or that I hadn’t had a proper conversation with Jesus today, that thought scared me. Forever.

I forget too often that I am an eternal being. Someone who will be here forever. Not on earth, no. I see the frailty of what is slipping away now. No, not on this planet but I am an eternal being in soul and spirit and I will go to the place where I will forever belong and be with love forever. When I haven’t been spending time with God that scares me. When I have? It makes the world go round with a joyful shout of exultation. LOVE! FOREVER! More than I know.

Oh, brain. You are lovely. And I am tooooo. 
And I do have something to give. 
For you.

As the pastor said at Edge Kingsland this morning,
“When you find your voice, you find your audience.”

Let me find my voice. Wait, I think I have. Hello, readers. Let’s hang out. 🙂

And remember, He wants to love you today.
Precisely. (that was the Holy Spirit) ooxx