Hamilton, New Zealand

God knows what we suffer through. Whether a slight pain or great agony, He knows. Because He was on this earth, just like us.

He is here. I sit on my window seat looking over the rooftops and treetops of Bethlehem, Tauranga and can see that He is here. After a week of being in Auckland with family, now I am now in my new home. I don’t really know what to expect. This life is new. New new new new new. What do I expect?
For Him to come. 
I told God that I’m broken down and it takes so much energy for me to meet new people. I asked Him how can face today, tomorrow?
He said, With me. With Him. Yes, yes, yes. 
And I need Him remind me of that, remind me of His love, to guide me through these conversations– because these paths are unfamiliar. And as Elisabeth Elliot said, “What need had we of a Guide were the path a familiar one?”
I’m here to write a blog post– but all I need really is a conversation with Jesus. He loves me. And that’s all I need to know, that’s all I need to know. [Believe, Brock Human] I can break down but He stays the same. Love. Love. Love. No need for insecurity, no need for shyness, because His love stays the same. (I was reminded of this by my friend Amanda’s song, “Your Love Won’t Change”. So good.)
I will follow Him. I will walk out this life with the confidence that He is with me. 
How have I not ever been in a position like this? I have been friends with people coming into a new place all the time, but never felt it myself. Now I can identify with them, with you. Just like Jesus does. I remembered that when I was looking out over my view for the first time, feeling an odd sadness knowing that now this is real– this is my life. Which is amazing, I’m on a window seat with an incredible view, but yes I’m not going back. I have left it all behind. This life belongs to Jesus. 
And He knows what I feel because He left an incredible place, his Father’s glorious house, to come here. And I asked Him how He did it… because the earth compared to heaven would be unbearable! And the place I have come to has such blessings, beauty, and love. But He showed me that He came to this earth to that, too. He came to a place of love. He came to get me, to get His Bride, and in no ways was that unbearable. He endured great pain and heavy burdens, yes, but not for a useless purpose. He got us. And He counted us worthy of all the pain we all get from separations. How beautiful! How incredible! How wonderful.
So I can sit here in my new home with the confidence that, though I’m vulnerable in a new place, He’s preparing me for something beautiful. Gorgeous. Incredible. And my Constant isn’t something silly or weird. He’s the man, Jesus, who hung on a tree for me and loved us then, and loves me now. Beautiful.